38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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