I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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