Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
