before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
