god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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