I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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