i don't like sucking hair
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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