Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize