I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
