We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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