Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
