whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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