I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
