well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize