I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
