I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize