I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
