I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
