Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
