So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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