What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize