I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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