The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
