one two three fourrrrnication!
i think i have two assholes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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