Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
