i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
