her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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