And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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