I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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