My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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