College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
