at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
