i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
