Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
