Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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