Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
