Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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