we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
