is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
