remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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