No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
