Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
