whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
