so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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