Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
