shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
