can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
