And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
