If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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