ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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