wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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