I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
