Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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