they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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