Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize