We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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