he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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