did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
