So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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