I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
