My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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