break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
