Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
