Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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