if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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