you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
