you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
