on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
