i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
