Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
