i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
