I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
