You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
