people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
