he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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