I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize