I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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