Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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