Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
