and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
