Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
More tranny stories later!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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